Product Of My EnvIRonMent...

Writing this blog for me is very personal. For the first time in my life I'm sharing my personal thoughts, feelings, experiences, and even fears with the world. In doing so, I hope that what I share and express to you all with affect your life in a positive way.

The other night one of my closest friends and I sat and talked over dinner at one of my favorite BBQ joints, Smokey Bones. We were engaged in several topics of conversation, however one stood out to me. My friend asked the question of me, "Why do most men have tempers?" I proceeded to give my perspective on the question, and of course most of it comes from my own personal experiences.

Growing up for me hasn't been a walk in the park. I was exposed to certain things that affected my life as an adult. I was verbally, physically, emotionally, & mentally abused. In my home there was a lot of domestic violence. Thus, I became this timid, introverted child that suppressed all of his emotions.

I hated my environment, I hated the things I witnessed. I hated how I was talked to and treated. I vowed that when I raised my own family, I would love them unconditionally, and never treat them the way I was treated. However, I became a Product Of My EnvIRonment!!! Those very things I hated, I now was.

In my relationships, I was verbally and physically abusive. I lied! I cheated! I broke hearts! I was controlling, and self centered! I was those very I things hated growing up. It took me years to figure out why I was that way. Was it my lack of continued education? Was it my insecurities? Was it my fears? Was it my environment? All of the above. I had truly become a Product Of My EnvIRonMent. These things and so much more contributed to my short/hot tempered ways and a life of self destruction and violence.

Most of us, be it man or woman, have tempers because of these reasons. We suppress a lot of negative energy. We're afraid of being judge, don't have many outlets, or simply don't know how to get help. Please, lets be mindful of the things we do in life. Everything we do affects someone in a negative or positive light. And for those of you that have children that you are raising...


Remember, they're always watching! Children are the most sensitive and gifted creatures on the face of this planet. Don't let your kids see you do drugs! Don't let your kids see you with a different man or woman each week! Don't let your kids see you arguing with your significant other or spouse! Don't let your kids witness all the negative shit that goes on! Keep them filled with your love and Gods love! Make the Product of their EnvIRonment a positive one. G'Bless


B~Thaike'

wE aRE fAMILY...

OK, I know it's been a couple of days but, I wanted to really touch on something that is apart of "My Life" as it pertains to my sexuality. As for those of you who don't know, I am a proud, black gay man. I don't go around blasting to the world that I'm gay, but at the same time I don't deny it either. With that being said...

The gay lifestyle is one of the most difficult lifestyles to live. Although a lot has changed, society is still to this day very judgemental of our way of life. Which brings me to the topic at hand. wE aRE fAMILY!

One of my ex partners and I were having a conversation and asked who was I talking to on the phone. I explained to him that I was talking to my "gay son". He then proceeded to say, "why do y'all do that shit?" "Why is it that fags have gay mommas, daddies, kids n shit". At first I was slightly offended, but I had to educate his ignorance. So for those of you as well who aren't real familiar as to why we as gay people have our own family, let me enlighten you.

Let me first start off by saying I have 5 gay kids and host of brothers that I love. No sisters or parents at this time. Nothing against those type of relatives, that's just the way it always worked out in my family. And to my kids I'm affectionately known as Dad. Now as far as us creating these families, the whole family aspect of the gay lifestyle derived from a "Gay House". A Gay House is much like your traditional heterosexual household. In it you have, mom, dad, brother, sister, etc. Gay people started creating these "Houses" because many of their families would outcast them once their sexuality was revealed. They would lose the love and support of their parents, and siblings, aunts, uncles, and so forth. Thus befriending people who would soon take the place of, or remind them of that relative. As well a lot of other gay people look at "Gay Houses & Families" as a very feminine thing. Which has in turn given the whole "House" and "Family" thing a negative reputation. That and I would also say that, most of the Mother figures in the family would be betrayed by a Drag Queen or a very feminine acting gay man.

So in conclusion my friends...Lets unite as family, LOVE one another, and stop being so judgmental towards the things we are ignorant about. We are all family and we are all God's children! G'Bless...

B~Thaike'

If I dIE 2Nite...

For the past couple of days Ive been reflecting on my life. Wondering what type of impact I've made on people thus far in my life. What would I leave behind to my loved ones if God decided it's time for my journey here to end?!? How would it affect those that say they "love" & "care" for me? Most times deaths come impetuously, and without notice. We never have time to prepare for it. And even if we did, or could prepare for it, most of us are unaccepting of it anyway. My family and I aren't close. And my friends and I have our moments of closeness. But, it would greatly affect me had I lost any of them. I've seen death come to my family and friends and it's even stared me in the face a couple of times. As the old cliche' goes, "Life is too short!" Live your dreams! Love your family & friends! Live! Live! Live! Tell someone every chance you get that you love them! Everyone wants and needs to feel and be loved. One of my favorite quotes by Moliere' is..."We die only once, and for such a long time"...

IF I DIE 2Nite

Some Day He'll Come Along...

It was a beautiful Spring day in The A. One of Which hadn't occured in quite some time. The dayz prior to this were filled with gloom and rain, typical Spring weather I suppose. However this day felt different. Not because of the mild temperatures and sunshine, but in my spirit, I felt this day would go down in history....



Pardon me for my rudeness. My name is Joseph Terrell Braxton. I stand slightly above average at 5'10", 165lbs, intricately cut frame, butternut colored tone, light brown eyes, well maintained locks that hang right below my shoulder blades, and as my late Nana would say,"a smile to die for". I graduated top of my class at Maxwell Brown University. There I obtained my first degree in Political Science & Psychology. Currently pursuing my Masters at Elijah C Johnson University....



I have one sibling, Antoine Jamal Braxton (AJ). He's my bestfriend for life. Momma always made sure we were close. She always says we shouldve been twins. Cant tell or keep us apart. It's amazing the resemblence we have being 18 months apart. Till this day she still calls us by one anothers name. Pop died from Cancer a day before AJ was born. Momma says he's her lil angel Pops sent down from heaven. However, life for us hasn't been no crystal stair...



We grew up on the west side of Chicago in a lil 2 bedroom 1 bath duplex. AJ and I fought everyday seems like we alwayz got into it with some knuckle head ass niggaz on the block or in school. Momma nipped the school thing right in the bud after we got into it a couple times. She said we were there to learn and not goof around. As a result we both graduated top of our class. After graduation I moved here to Atlanta and AJ moved out west to L.A., in pursuit of his acting career. And with all the the dramatic relationships he's been in, I'm sure he'll make it big time in no time. And so the story begins...



Chapter 1(Shawty)...



Dave: Shawty, What they do?!? You rolling thru tonite fam? I got these bad ass hoes man rollin thru bout 6. They tryna go see that new joint wit ya boi ummmm...The Wire nigga. Whats his name nigg...ummmm



JT: Idris Elba...Nigga You Kno

Dave: Yeah that nigga mane



Dave was what you would call this Dirty South Thug. Dude was bout 6'1". caramel complexion, long thick pretty ass corn rolls. And one of the sexiest niggas I have ever met in my life. Kinda remind you of Jim Jones, but with much more Swagg. We met at this sports joint Downtown Atl called, Dugans. Dude kept eyeing me and shit from the bar. When a seat became available on my end of the bar he decided to make his move. He wasted no time with getting to what he wanted. "Aye my nigga, real talk, you sexy as shit". You from round here? After a couple beers, we realized we were into the same thing. Hmmm...From that point on Dave and I became real good homebois..

JT: Man hell naw everytime you hook me up with one of them bad ass hoes, she turns out to be a crazy ass hoe!

Dave: Man come on shawty...that was one time. Aye, you gotta admit tho honey was fine mane.

JT: Nigga, Where all them other so called thug ass niggas u be with. Now I'll fuck with one of them any day.

Dave: Mane, you'll learn...Niggas aint shit mane! I keep tryna tell you that fam!

JT: Damn D, sound like a nigga got caught up before eh?

Dave had an unfamiliar tone, a slight show of emotion. Which was rare to none for a kat like him.

Dave: Man look, you rolling thru or not?

JT: Yeah Bitch nigga...Give me a 1hr.